Carl Lane Metzler

My cousin would have been 29 years old today… and on this Thanksgiving, I’m most thankful for him. As tradition goes, we watched the ‘video montage’ my Aunt made of Carl… 40 minutes of heartache and laughs all in one. There are about 10 songs in this video… 3 of them make me cry the whole way through, but only 1 of them stops my breath- Flogging Molly’s “If I Ever Leave This World Alive.” I don’t think it’s a popular song, but yet, somehow it always seems to find its way into my life time and time again when I don’t expect it. I absolutely LOVE this song. Couple other things I love because of Carl- Guinness, Livestrong, and Boondock Saints. One thing I don’t- Goldschläger.

I am amazed at one thing in particular that has been different with Carl than other people I’ve lost in life… his memory is still so strong. It has been over 6 years and I can still clearly recall the conversations, see his face in detail from the last time I hugged him goodbye, and hear his laugh and his slight little lisp. His personality was so strong and I’ve been able to find him so often in my daily life because of it. Happy Birthday Carlos.

“I held him close for only a short time, but after he was gone, I'd see his smile on the face of a perfect stranger & I knew he would be there with me all the rest of my days.”

Text Messaging

Specifically how all my friends know I’m much better at text than I am at returning an actual phone call. I love that my Mom sends text photos upside down and double spaces all of her words. That I get updated photos of my niece and nephew this way. I love that my friends are able to talk their husbands into letting them have text service back on their phone plan, and then upgraded to unlimited accessibility. I pretend to get mad and then laugh to tears at the inappropriateness of my high school friends 3am updates. Adore the ones that simply say good morning. I love the panther kitten calls that my Auntie sends over before a football game. Or the classic ‘O-H’ each Fall Saturday from diehard fans. I see my dog in 99% percent of what Dad sends my way… the other 1% is always some natural phenomenon he has stumbled across. I love the videos that come through of friend’s babies growing up that I watch each week as if not to miss a single moment of their development. I love the forwards that never need an explanation of who it’s from. And I love forwarding the ‘I don’t give a…’ to my girlfriends who share in my idea of an idiotic greeting card line. Storing good texts are so much simpler than saving voicemails. I only wish we could do without the confusion of tone and how our wording comes across sometimes… it’s one thing a human voice will always be best at. I admit that I hide behind texts occasionally, like writing and emailing instead of having an actual conversation… I’m sorry about that. But not really… texting makes me happy.